My Job as a Therapist

english Aug 30, 2022

My ideas about what my job as a therapist is have changed over the 30+ years of clinical practice. The reason I went to graduate school was to gain the knowledge, experience and credentials that would enable me to work directly with children and their families as a therapist. I have worked in many different settings with a wide variety of clients, and over the years, I have gained so much more clarity about what my job as a therapist is, and, more importantly, what it isn’t.

Curious?

I have some questions for you!

What is your job as a therapist?

Is it to know in advance of a session what’s going to occur?
Is it to have answers?
Is it to have even one answer?
Is it to convince your client of your opinion?
Is it to instruct?
Is it to give advice?
Is it to judge them and/or their choices (no matter how bizarre those may seem!)?
Is it to heal them of whatever brings them in to see you?
Is it to fix their problems?
Is it to do their work for them (in the hope that they will progress more quickly)?

Not in my world!

In my world, my job as a therapist is:

To create the space for clients to feel safe and open, to the extent they are able in the moment, in order for them to begin whatever journey of change they are looking for.
To be curious about what my clients are asking for (it’s oftentimes not what is stated at intake).
To empower my clients to begin to trust themselves.
To empower my clients to make whatever changes they can make, in order to move towards the life/relationship/family they would like to have.
To empower my clients to know that healing is possible, and, that it begins with them, and, that it is up to them, in their time and in their way, and, that it is never not about them.
To open doors for them that may offer different ways of viewing whatever it is that is going on in their world.
To NEVER feel responsible for their perceived progress (or lack thereof).
To NEVER do their work for them.
To offer resources when appropriate.

How do I do this?

By connecting with them.
By engaging with them.
By listening to them.
By not filling in awkward silences with needless chatter (or any other kind of chatter!).
By not judging them or their choices (past or present).
By asking questions that have no right or wrong answer.
By meeting my clients where they are, not where I (or others) know they could be.
By being curious about any certainties they may arrive with, and, that they defend.
By being curious about what they may be avoiding.
By letting go of convictions I may have of a particular behavior or type of person, and, by being willing to be impartial.
By being willing to explore possibilities with them, no matter how crazy or silly they may appear initially.
By never pushing them to go farther than they are able to in any moment.
By not giving them what they are not asking for.

And especially, by not taking myself so seriously! By enjoying what I do! By feeling honored to be invited on their journey! By not judging myself! By being kind to myself!

And, as a therapist, no matter what’s going on in the room …. don’t forget! BREATHE! Deeply! It really helps!